Mental Health Lessons I've Learnt From My Clients

Insights from Lara Malobrodski, Clinical Psychologist

My training taught me a lot. The people I work with taught me more.

We all handle things differently, and that's okay

There's no single "right" way to respond to something hard. Two people can go through a similar experience and react in completely different ways, and neither of them is doing it wrong.

Some people cry, some go quiet, some throw themselves into keeping busy, some fall apart and then slowly rebuild. We so often judge ourselves for not coping the "correct" way, or compare our insides to how someone else appears on the outside. It helps to let that go. However you're responding is a valid human response, not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Feeling strong emotions won't consume you forever

A lot of people avoid their feelings because they're afraid that if they let themselves feel something fully, it will swallow them whole and never let go.

Emotions tend to move through us in waves. They rise, they peak, and they pass, especially when we stop fighting them. And here's the part worth remembering: you've already lived through whatever caused those feelings. You survived it once. Feeling the emotion now is not the same as being back in the moment that caused it. More often than not, holding it all in feels far worse over time than letting it out.

Facing pain changes how it sits with you

Facing something painful genuinely changes how it sits with you, but not in the way people expect. The past itself doesn't change. What changes is how much of you it takes to carry it.

Keeping pain at arm's length is exhausting work, even when we don't notice we're doing it. It quietly drains energy we could be spending on living. When you turn towards it instead, usually with support, you stop pouring everything you have into holding it away, and that alone can bring enormous relief. This is often gentler to do alongside someone, rather than on your own.

Everyone needs at least one person they can be honest with

If there's one thing I'd want everyone to have, it's at least one person they can be completely honest with. Somewhere they can say the unfiltered version, without managing anyone's reaction or performing "fine."

It doesn't have to be a psychologist. It might be a mentor, a friend, or a family member. What matters is not who it is, but the experience of feeling truly heard by them. That sense of being understood, of not carrying it all alone, is one of the most protective things there is for our mental health.

When you're ready

If reading this made you realise you don't yet have that one person you can be fully honest with, that's worth taking seriously. Sometimes it's a friend or family member. Sometimes it helps to have a professional whose whole role is to listen without judgement.

If you're looking for that kind of support, Pair can help you find a psychologist who suits you. It's free to get matched.