Understanding Cognitive Dissonance

Have you ever found yourself holding two conflicting thoughts at the same time, or acting in a way that doesn’t quite align with what you believe? That uncomfortable, uneasy feeling that follows is known as cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is a normal part of being human. Understanding it can help make sense of inner conflict, self-doubt, and why certain decisions feel harder than others.

What Is Cognitive Dissonance?

Cognitive dissonance occurs when there’s a mismatch between:

• What you believe and how you behave
• Two beliefs that don’t fully agree
• New information and long-held views

This mismatch creates mental discomfort. Our minds naturally prefer consistency, so when things don’t line up, we feel an urge to resolve the tension.

Everyday Examples of Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance shows up in everyday situations, such as:

• Valuing health but avoiding exercise
• Wanting honesty but avoiding a difficult conversation
• Seeing yourself as capable but doubting yourself at work
• Staying in a situation that doesn’t feel right because change feels overwhelming

This discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s a sign that your mind is noticing an internal conflict.

How People Reduce the Discomfort

When cognitive dissonance appears, people often try to ease it in ways that feel automatic. This might include:

• Justifying behaviour (“It’s not that bad”)
• Minimising the issue (“Everyone does this”)
• Avoiding information that challenges beliefs
• Reframing the situation to feel more comfortable

These responses aren’t flaws — they’re ways the brain tries to restore balance.

Why Cognitive Dissonance Matters

Cognitive dissonance plays a role in:

• Decision-making
• Relationships
• Self-esteem
• Personal growth

Sometimes, people reduce dissonance by staying the same. Other times, the discomfort leads to reflection, change, or clearer choices. Paying attention to it can reveal what matters most to you.

Cognitive Dissonance and Emotional Wellbeing

When cognitive dissonance continues over time, it can contribute to:

• Ongoing stress
• Guilt or shame
• Anxiety or frustration
• Feeling stuck or conflicted

This often happens when there’s a gap between what you value and what feels possible in your current situation.

How Therapy Can Help

Talking with a psychologist can help you:

• Explore conflicting thoughts and feelings safely
• Understand your values more clearly
• Develop self-compassion around difficult decisions
• Find ways to move forward without harsh self-judgement

Therapy isn’t about forcing answers. It’s about understanding yourself better and creating space for change.

A Gentle Reminder

Cognitive dissonance doesn’t mean you’re inconsistent or weak. It means you’re human — thinking, reflecting, and trying to navigate complex choices.

With awareness and support, that discomfort can become a helpful signal rather than something to push away.